An amazing Swinger Sunday post by someone I love dearly. I just can't tell ya who! Fun right!? Totally. Either way, leave her some lovin :)
Just your everyday semi-crisis.
By: Anonymoussss.

Holy moly, thank you to the outrageously awesome Amber for having a Swinger Sunday and for letting me treat it as a place to do a little decompressing to a group of readers that I think are just the bomb.

So its springtime…. And I am 26. And unmarried. And getting ready to finish graduate school. And kidless. And business-owning. And big-dream-having. And, well, unsatisfied, semi-unhappy, and totally freaking out about it.  

For me, springtime always brings this sense of compelling change, a freshening and excitement for things to come.

But not this year. This year its bringing me nothing but daily anxiety attacks.

Age 26 might not seem ancient to you, but it sure seems like it to me. Well, its more that I just think that its too old to not have anything figured out in your life, not have anything solid and stable and something you can rely on to be good and true and unchanging.

For starters, I am in graduate school and own a business.  I worry every day that I am succeeding at neither and really messing up both.  I get medium good grades due to the fact that I can hardly pay attention to class, due to the fact that while I am in class all day long, I also have to be dealing with a ton of things for the business. My business’s growth is 100% dependant on, and often slowed down by, my ability/inability to focus on it, due to my school obligations.  So, therefore, every single day of my life I am freaking out about being behind on this, forgetting that, and just not be able to do the things that both typical business owners and typical students do correctly and on time. It makes me just feel like a failure all day every day. Always apologizing to someone for effing SOMETHING up.

Also, I am in a 3.5 year long (and currently long distance) relationship. It used to be great. But, unfortunately, seeing him once in the last six months and having our conversations only magnify the characteristics of him that I really have major issues with and am not sure I can get over has been really difficult for me and for my happiness level with the relationship.  I am also very social with a lot of friends and that has given me occasion to meet other guys. Ones that are fun, kind, funny, (really sexy/hot,) and think I am the bees knees. Turning down men (that I would typically be falling at the feet of) because I am in a relationship that is only questionably healthy at this point SUCKS. And its giving me a ton of anxiety. Because I am a super crazy and fun and goofy human and want to be having fun at all times. So why am I shutting out these guys that I have a lot of fun with and that could be the perfect person for me? It sucks and I feel like I am in a lose lose situation.  

Now that I am back in the state of Ohio, I also have occasion to see my parents more often lately. They struggle to say ANYTHING positive to me or about me. No, really, I am 100% serious. They put me down, mitigate my achievements, and scream at me for minor things. Now, it’s taken me all of my 26 years on this earth to be able to type this in such a matter of fact nature. This used to kill me before I realized that it wasn’t a matter of me perpetually messing up and sucking, but more of their own suckiness. It feels good to be an adult and know that as I grow and make decisions about friends and life, that I will be able to include or exclude that part of my life as much as I see fit. Its an enormous weight off my shoulders actually. They really beat me down sometimes.

I am also moving back to California in May to complete my final internship before I graduate. I am excited to get back there, but feel so incredibly sad to be leaving a ground op friends that I have had for 20 years and that I have REALLY loved reconnecting with while I was spending a year back in my hometown (as I finish school.) I was able to be there when their babies were born and see them for a casual beer or coffee whenever we were free. Being around loved ones is a priceless feeling and is truly the most important thing in the world to me. So the thought of leaving really guts me.

This then brings me to my general lifestyle panic. In the past 4 years, I have been a bridesmaid in 10 weddings. I am now Auntie to the 8 babies that have already been born from these wonderful relationships. My friends own homes and have stable jobs and wonderful, loving, cozy, and inspiring lives.

And the fact that I have none of these things is reallllllyyy starting to get to me. Is my hyperactivity and moving across the country and around the world every 6 months to do new things and build orphanages and try to save the world now sabotaging my ability to chill out and enjoy the only things that ACTUALLY and truly make life worthwhile? I feel like the answer is yes and I don’t know how to fix it.

And now, here we are in springtime, I have all of this change and uncertainty in front of me, and I can’t help but just panic every minute. And it all compounds onto each other. The needing-to-settle down anxiety increases the love life anxiety which increases the work/school anxiety when I then realize that is my only shot at doing something correctly at the current and then I remember that I am doing quite the opposite. So, that is just the play-by-play of my daily freakout, which takes place over deep breathing with my head in my hands at my desk.

So each day I do this. And each day I tell myself that it will all work out and that I should just keep calm, keep my chin up, and spend the day like I would any other day, with a positive and happy outlook on my life and the people in it and a determination to be a good person and make the world a better place.

But my springtime daily freakouts are just… DRAINING. And I am totally trying to work on getting rid of them.

Do you all have any tricks for any of this? Or calming down about it at all?

Thank you for your ears. I really can’t tell you how much it means to me able to just VENT and unload sometimes. (:

<3
Overwhelmed in Ohio.

Everyone say hi to Rhiannon - the brains behind Rocky The Zombie... She's amazing and were so glad she stopped by the blog today!


Ok so the idea behind this is to remind everyone to take some time off from everything,  you work hard and you owe it to yourself.. let your mind and body rest, write down some thoughts/plans/ lists if it feels like things are getting too much (a cute notebook and a pen is cheaper than a shrink... my pen is pink and bubblegum scented. yep! simple pleasures)


This is to remind you to at some point to turn off the computer, and turn off the email notifications on your phone! Ok.. ready?


I know I'm not alone in my bad habit of not knowing when to take a break. I work at my day job 5/6 days a week, and the rest of the time I'm working on Rockythezombie. Some of my best etsy friends do all of this and take care of an entire family too... and I think I'm tired!? ha!.. I'm sure they could show me TIRED.


I get up in the morning and finish orders, pack orders, and post orders.. and this is all before I start work at 11am. I then get home around 8pm and go right back to it until the early hours. I wouldn't change it though, I LOVE it.. it's who I am. Of course there is ONE thing I would change.. the day job, if it were financially possible I'd get rid of that. Maybe one day I'll be able to... I've done it before, so I can do it again right? I'm gonna work hard and wait and see...


Don't forget to make time for your friends, I am soooo guilty of this.. I'll not see anyone for weeks, and because I'm so busy I'll barely even notice. In my mind I only saw them last week when actually an entire month has gone by and I've spent it working.


This year I made a resolution to STOP every sunday.. and just do nothing, but this didn't really work.. I discovered I simply can't just do nothing. So instead I bake.. I bake cakes, cookies, pies, and anything else I feel like! It's fun, and makes my house smell amazing, and who doesn't love freshly baked goodies? I've also made a promise to myself that at least once a month I'll go out for dinner with friends, and I'll go to an out of town show with Hud.. I almost forgot how much fun it is to grab some beers, take a road trip to see a band you love, and meet up with old friends you just haven't found the time to see. Uh-mazing.. and totally relaxing, even if it does take another day to recover afterwards ;)
I have to admit that by sunday evening I'm feeling quite recovered and am itching to get back to work on the shop, but that's cool... moderation.. Find your perfect balance :)

Meet Audrey!! An AMAZING work at home mama behind the best shoe store on earth, Kaboogie... be sure to check her out, after your done reading and commenting on her post of course!! 
As a lifelong crafter, I've always been a very discriminating shopper of handmade goods.  Since I won't sell anything I don't think is "perfect" to the best of my abilities, I tend to be a little hard on my fellow artists.  Blame my pop, everything he made was brutally well done. Since I started selling on Etsy over 3 years ago, I've worked like mad to hone my skills, and create the best brand I can.  I've also bought a lot of goods on Etsy, and it got me thinking.  How does one discern between okay crafts you may regret buying, and perhaps forego handmade websites, and the kind of items you treasure always?  How did my first buyers make the decision to spend their money on KaBoogie shoes? I mean, the obvious answer would be the picture.  There's enough threads, Storque articles and Google articles available so that most sellers shouldn't have an issue with photography.  Yet, some still do.  I know I did when I started.  That doesn't necessarily mean my product was poor quality, but again, it didn't help.  So you can't always rely on the picture.  You could take a chance there, and give a new seller a nice start.  Someone with a 2 year old shop, however, should have been able to put some effort into better pictures, even with limited resources.  Also, did the seller give multiple photos so you can see the product from all angles?   With that in mind, I do think picture quality gives some clue as to how serious a seller takes their business.That doesn't mean they don't make a great product, but it does make a potential buyer have to work harder to decide to take a chance.  Feedback is, in my opinion, one of the more dependable resources a buyer has.  I always check feedback.  I can forgive a negative or two from a higher volume seller, let's say, a misunderstanding about the product, shipping gone wrong, item broke, unreasonable buyer, etc.  Someone with no feedback, though, can seem like a risk.  You have to rely on photos, and a well written description.  Look for comments like "Quick shipment!  Great products!" and especially "Item was defective and seller was SO fast in replacing it!"  Anything to give a clue as to not only quality, but customer service.  That brings me to another well documented, yet little used way to make a well informed decision on whether to purchase a handmade item.  The description should tell you everything you need to know about the item.  I say little used, because as a seller, I get so many questions about products, that is clearly laid out in my descriptions, I conclude that very few buyers tend to read about them.  This works against the buyer, since vital information can be missed, and a potential bad feedback to buyer or seller may be left.  So it's important to read the descriptions!  Once you read everything, especially shipping cost, whether the item is made to order or available to ship, materials, care instruction, etc., ask questions.  Don't take anything for granted.  Are you completely vegan, and want to buy non leather baby shoes?  Ask, don't assume, the soles may still be leather.  Is a soap made with ingredients that give you a migraine?  I bought a DVD on Ebay UK 3 weeks ago.  I did not read all of the voluminous verbage down at the bottom of the page, and never got my video.  Once Christmas came and I didn't get my item, I investigated, and finally read the policy that PayPal payments MUST be made in British pounds.  I ASSUMED Paypal would convert it.  I also didn't read his notice that he was closed for 3 weeks over Christmas.  Ugh.  Buyers, read everything, and ask questions. Asking the seller should take care of two concerns.  One, you (hopefully) get your answer.  Two, you find out whether the seller is a serious business person, the kind who you can fairly well depend on if something goes wrong.  The kind who is available, and communicates with you because they WANT your business.  A seller recently sent only 3 of 4 items I purchased.  I convo'd her, and she had the 4th in the mail, priority, that afternoon.  She lost money in the process, and I know this.  I also know that her product is superb, and she will do whatever it takes to make me happy.  I will recommend her, and buy her products for years to come.  If a seller is new, they may be still ironing out their policies and not know all of the options they have available to settle an issue.  Sometimes you have to keep that in mind, and be patient.  The product may well be worth the efforts. The last, and probably most obvious way to tell if a seller has a good product is their volume.  The top sellers are top sellers because they have several things down.  A quality product, a "brand", meaning a cohesive mix of identity, consistent look, serious approach, great customer service, good feedback, and excellent product photography.  They also have great word of mouth, for all of these reasons.  You can see that they work hard for your business.  When buying handmade products, as with buying any product, you want to think the person put extra care and attention into their work.  Sometimes this won't be the case, but we have multiple ways to get a good idea of whether they did or not.  As a seller, I can tell you that bad feedback is the worst nightmare an artist or crafter has.  I can also tell you, that with all of the junk being mass produced by slave or near slave labor, with no enforced regulations, shipped to us from third world countries, we can no longer ignore the handmade market as a superior option for our consumer needs.  Personally, I would rather spend $10 more on a handmade sock monkey and know there's a similar mom on the other end of the sewing machine, than take a chance that the sweat shop produced monkey from Walmart will fall apart when my boy decides to have a giant stuffed animal battle! Audrey - Amazing, well-written post... and a great guideline for all new (and old) etsy buyers out there... there are a lot of amazing products out there, and a lot of not so great ones... so buyers - be aware... shop a great "brand" likey RockerByeBaby & Kaboogie!! haha

Getting back to Swinger Sundays!! Meet the mama behind "My D Cup Vs. Gravity". Leave her some love and stop by and follow her blog!

So, one of my biggest problems with being a bigger girl now is that one upon a time I was extremely thin. I have to remind myself that I was thin because I was not being good to my body. I had "outside" forces that were eating me alive, and my diet consisted of lucky charms, taco bell, and those two for a dollar cookies from the gas station. This went on for nearly ten years. Then, I got pregnant. I stopped using and picked up a fork. Or a fork-lift rather! I gained eighty pounds in nine months and didn't attempt to shed any after the baby was born.

With second baby, I did lose weight. I was on the cusp of having diabetes and that scared the hell out of me. I walked an hour every night in the winter storms, determined to have a healthy baby and an easier delivery. I was measuring out 1/4 cups of pasta for dinner, and writing down all of my carbohydrates. It worked. After delivery, I was fifteen pounds lighter than when I got pregnant.

But here we are now. Baby is six months and I have stopped losing weight. I am not walking so much and constantly feel hungry. I eat a spinach and hard-boiled egg for lunch so that I can eat gobs of peanut butter out of the jar.

I am still self-destructive, only now these are legal activities. What is the drive behind all of this? I have an addictive personality, whether it be drugs or chocolate. I think I need to work on this before I start hopping on the scale.

Amber here: Great post!! I think we all have these bad habits... I defintely have an addictive personality, and im sure there are lots of you out there that battle similar issues. We would love to hear your feedback on the issue!