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A Christmas Story

I was outside this morning sipping my coffee as ZaQ shoveled the drive... scraped the windows of the car and brushed off the 3 inches of powdery fluff... and i thought wow, what a pain in the butt... Then in an instant felt so selfish... Can you imagine what it was like to not have cars? I bet THAT was a pain... bitter cold... either walking or riding a horse in foot after foot of piled up snow... below freezing temperatures... etc.

Once upon a time my Great Grandma Burton told me a Christmas story... she had lived through the Great Depression & two major wars... THEY had it tough... She told me the story of how they literally had next to nothing... One very special Christmas for the was the year they traded food with the neighbors... They pulled out potatoes that they had buried in their cellar... and the neighbors walked two miles in the snow to bring them carrots... together they were able to have a real meal... yep, of carrots & potatoes... and it was a feast... the two families were so happy to be together and eat... and that was it. No presents... no giant feast of Prime Rib with all the fixins, no pies, cookies, or candies... no toys, no new clothes, or fancy electronics... just potatoes and carrots. Sometimes I feel like we have become so far removed from how tough things can get, that we forget to appreciate the things that we have. We complain about the smallest of things... Can you imagine if our generation were the ones living through the Great Depression? It makes me wonder if the human race would even survive... So I ask you on this Christmas Eve... be thankful for what you have... and even more thankful for what your about to receive tonight/tomorrow... be thankful for your friends, family, and good food.... because we really do have it so great... Even in the worst of circumstances... its still so much better than what it was.
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Note to Self Saturday: Snow

Snow, ugh. I dont think anyone actually "prefers" snow over sandy beaches... sunsets over the mountains... 65 degree temps all year round... etc. But that's what we gave up to come back home. So far its been pretty easy to stay positive... somehow spinning the need to spend an hour shoveling the drive as "a good workout"... and the below zero temps as an excuse to stay in and snuggle and drink whiskey ciders... and well, you know what they say around here... "the cold keeps the @$$holes away"... LOL

But wow... this last round of blizzardy conditions has been trying for sure. By the end of tonight we are looking at -30 degrees F with the windchill... and 18-20 inches of snow... ZaQ shoveled once last night... once this morning... and just a few hours later it needs to be done again... I'm locked into the house with the kids... can't get to the post office to pick up my tags or drop off packages... and I keep having to shovel the backyard a bit just so the puppies can go out to go potty... *note: California bred puppies do NOT like Minnesota winters* And to top it all off, the boys have some sort of crazed caged animal instinct that has taken over... and they are off the wall bonkers. LITERALLY running laps in my house screaming like a pack of wild wolves... asking me every 30 seconds if they can go play in the snow... how do you explain to a 3 & 4 year old that if they go out there, their little faces could LITERALLY freeze right off... "IzzaQ, do you like your nose? or your ears?... Ok, well if you would like to keep them, we should probably wait to go play outside for another day... when its a little warmer like it was last week. You know... like 15 degrees..." *head/desk* But really, who doesn't love a good blizzard? You get to drink whiskey, eat lots of warm comfort food. (ie. the pot roast in my crock pot right now...) and you get to think of creative ways to stay warm and burn energy... hence, the reason so many babies are born in August, September & October around here, lol Izzaq = October Baby... Zavery = September..... WHAT!? IT WAS A COLD COUPLE OF YEARS! Anyways, Minneapolis, I love you... i really do... but couldn't you have been a little more gentle on us after our first winter back from CA? We really would have appreciated it... But i know, i know... it'll all be worth it that first spring day... having breakfast & mimosas out on the patio at the CC Club. Everyone coming out of hibernation... saying hello to strangers with big smiles on their faces... taking Maddie & The Boys to the playground... Riding bikes around the city... and opening day at Target Field with my 3 favorite boys... I guess 4 (Tom, your alright, too... ill keep you around.) With that in mind, California... Angst for the memories... you've got nuttin' on Minneapolis. Midwest girl for life.
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Annnnd.... im a jerk :(

Nothing better to finish off a crappy day than making a 4 year old cry... :( Today the boys were horrible. Screaming, yelling, fighting, hitting, pushing, running... just being terrible to each other... for 10 hours i put up with chaos today while trying to cook, clean, & work... and throw any idea at them to keep them entertained... nothing worked... finally around 6 tonight I made some dinner... which was quickly followed with toddler tantrums. Apparently I didn't make the right food choices. *mommy fail, again...* I had finally bribed them into eating all their dinner in order to get a cookie... *mommy win!* Sugar buzz... {head/desk} *mommy fail, AGAIN* Just as I was starting to lose all hope in salvaging any of this day, Nightmare Before Christmas came on... they plopped their little butts on the couch and sat like statues... YAY!! When the movie was over, it was time for bed... this part was going surprisingly better than I had expected... until I opened my mouth of course...  now let me give you a little back story... When I was a kid I had a bad habit of licking my lips.. and i got a horrible red ring around my mouth... it was so bad, and beyond looks, it always hurt! But... it was a habit i couldn't break until my mom put some gross lotion stuff on them the doctor gave her... Now, of all my crappy habits, of course this is the one IzzaQ picks up...

day after day his perfect little lips get a little more red... I try to stop him when I see it, and I always am lubin' him up with Aveeno chapstick... Well tonight I did the usual... tucked him in, kissed him goodnight.... and said "oooh baby, your lips look sore & red! Lets put on some chapstick, you don't want to look like a Clown do you?" And all Hell broke loose... histerical IzzaQ: MOM! You hurt my feelings!! I dont want to be a clown!! Then I will scare you away forever!! Me: Oh no honey, I dont want you to be a clown either, im sorry... I just dont want you to have owie lips. {holding back tears} this went back and forth for a good 10 minutes... he kept hugging me and hugging me... I really hurt is feelings and I didnt mean to... I felt SO SO bad. My poor baby :(

Its crazy though... hes growing up so fast... 6 months ago I could have said something like that and he probably would have giggled and made a silly clown face... but now - he takes things like that personally... when did this happen!? When did my little baby boy turn into such a mini man? I dunno... but Im sure not ready for it...
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Note to Self Saturday: Just breathe.

A to do list... or a to dont list... or maybe an already did list... i dunno...
A rant about my day(s):
  • Zaq's Christmas present showed up in the mail yesterday... This makes me happy, i hope he loves it. 
  • IzzaQ is so incredibly intelligent... its a blessing and a curse already - I can only imagine what this will be like when he is older. 
  • Once Aymee and I talked about how we hope our children grow up to be strong and independent adults... if your doing your job right, the also comes with a strong and independent toddler... he gets "stonger" every day...
  • I am SO crazy busy in the store... that Heather has had a suitcase of my stuff for over 2 months now... because i havn't had time to go downtown. *fail*
  • Bullet points make me feel organized. Im not...
  • Yesterday my puppies pooped on the carpet twice... then Zavery pooped in his pants, and before i realized it - i stepped in it... it was a "shitty" day.
  • I wish leaving California didn't mean leaving my "Dixie"... My world was much less chaotic with her around... moving here was supposed to mean we had more help... so far, we have lots less, and when i do get it, im still paying for it. I shoulda just made Dixie come with me.  I miss her.
  • Zavery needs a haircut... he has been called a girl in every store we go into, about 239842308570938450984504398503985034985029384029 times... no matter what he is wearing... full on boy clothes, they still say "she".
  • Today has been a stressful day... crazy kids, too much work... and a super rude customer. 
  • Daddy texted to say he went to the store on his lunch break and got me a couple bottles of wine... this makes me happy.
  • Majority of my friends are pregnant... and today I found out about one more... *shhhh* i cant tell!
  • Im still fighting with myself about #3 or not... daily. Probably more like 5-10 times a day. 3 times a charm right? Because I don't think i can continue on the miscarriage emotional/physical roller coaster.
  • I woke up this morning singing the "outdoors" sesame street song by Jason Mraz (youtube it.)
  • Tonight i think i spent over $300 just on fabric... and tomorrow i have to go to the fabric store... and still have loads more to buy!
  • I miss my hubby... im lonely when he closes. I dont know how military wives do it. Stronger ladies than I am thats for sure!
  • Last night i made the most DELICIOUS turkey chili & corn bread... can't wait to have leftovers tomorrow :)
  • Zaq keeps asking what I want for christmas.... what more COULD i want? Im pretty fortunate.
  • I get more excited getting presents for other people than thinking about what i might get myself... 
  • Umizoomi is over :( That means bed time... and back to the sewing machine for me... see you guys next time!

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Empty Nest Syndrome?

So its been a little while since I did i fun rant/banter/randomness.. but lots of things have been floating through my head lately so time to spill them out...
  • My babies are home in Illinois... for a whole month... 
  • My birthday present this year is that I get to see them. Best... Birthday... Ever.....
  • Last night when I went to bed I looked in their room to peek on them.... I love watching them sleep...
  • When I peeked in on them, I remembered they weren't there :(
  • I know its not the same thing, but having the boys gone makes me feel so so so sad and sorry for those who have lost a child. I couldn't imagine them both just being "gone" like that. 
  • I'm lonely.
  • Maybe empty nest syndrome is the cause for my baby making overdrive this month... 
  • Izzaq caught his first fish on Sunday with papa Chad. This makes me overjoyed and extremely sad at the same time. I miss MY Grandpa. He would have been so proud.
  • RockerByeBaby has almost doubled in sales from last year...
  • ^ That is insanity. Awesomely, psychotically, hair-pulling, vodka redbull drinking, non-sleeping insanity... 
  • I wouldn't have it any other way...
  • Being home with my husband without kids has been amazing. People should be jealous about how much we still talk, kiss, love, be silly, have fun, after 5 years of chaos. 
  • Zaq and I did everything backwards... we had about 1 year of good, then a few of bad, with a really bad thrown in there, then a good, and now a great. I like that order of things... At this point, and what we have been trough... theres nothing that can tear us apart. 
  • We're a cute couple sometimes :) 

  • I can't wait to go home to visit.... It will either make me not want to leave, or remind me why i left... hmmm.
  • I wish my "internet friends" were my "in real life friends" and we could have fun play dates, and get mani-pedi's, go shopping, and have girls nights out.... instead - im anti-social, stay home, and get anxiety from going shopping. 
  • In about 5 days - I have gone from 1,159 fans... to 1,588 <-- this is amazingness in my book... keep it going! Fan here!
  • My Aymee is due ANY day now... can you believe it!? 
  • Shes beautiful.
  • I love doing the wash load of laundry. Feels good to get it done.
  • If I could have a giant pile of clean clothes in the closet id be happiest girl on earth... i hate... HATE folding clothes. its my least favorite chore... 
  • I want a cupcake.
  • I have been reading Uncharted TerriTori... so far so good ;)
  • I have a new obsession with Betsey Johnson bras... And I keep finding great deals!
  • Zaq has a new obsession with Betsey Johnson bras... apparently my boobs look great, haha.
  • Adam said if I couldn't say *lol  I would spontaneously combust...
  • He is probably right. 
    • *Note to self - stop saying *lol*
  • I sent two shirts to SaraSophia to have her little Pixie model them, and i am just DYING to see the pictures. She has such amazing talent, i know they will be great!
  • Im so hungry... considering a turkey sandwich for breakfast. 
  • Since moving to California, i have gotten two horrible haircuts. 
  • Im scared to get another one... considering waiting till i get back to MPLS to go to Moxie, Micah wont mess it up.
  • About once a week I buy something random for the new baby im hoping for...
  • Im not even pregnant yet.
  • I think i might be ;) Testing in 2 more days if no period.
  • Im supposed to have my tattoo sleeve finished when we go home to Minneapolis. Ive been waiting over a year... and my luck, I will find out i pregnant 2 weeks before... and then wait another year... 
  • The other day, zaq and i spent an entire afternoon watching an America's Next Top Model marathon... and he didn't even complain. 
  • Secretly - he loved it i think... #myhusbandisnotgayiswear
  • I need to get to work. 

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