Post 3 from the amazing Adam Thurston... LOVING this new segment :) And I know the followers are too!! Thanks, Adam, for sharing with my readers and I... even though we're so far away... it will be like we've been there all along... :) p.s. you can find his blog here... follow him :)
Mentoring Mondays: Teaching you to be a Lady while you teach me to be a Dad.
Hey Madeline. Last time I “saw” you, you were giving your mother heartburn. Just a heads up; that’s not the best way to score points with your mom before you’re even born but I guess that’s not really your fault.
I was originally going to only post Boys: See your mother! But after thinking on it, I want to weigh in on a few points. When you get older (tween, teen, etc) boys will become a pretty big focus on your life. While this is fun and all, you’re mainly fulfilling human instinct to find a life-mate. And if your experiences are anything like mine, you will kiss some frogs (or in my case, frog-ettes) in this search. I’m here to lay some groundwork to hopefully make this smoother for you. And really, as your dad, that’s my job; to help you learn from your mistakes. I’ll let you fall…but I’ll always catch you.
The first guy you’re going to know will be me and you‘ll likely measure all guys you meet to me. That’s a lot to live up to and I naturally want to be the best. How I live and behave in my daily life will be a reflection to you of most, if not all men. Now I’m a pretty easy going guy but I would be remiss in my duties as a father if I didn’t tell you what you have EVERY RIGHT TO EXPECT out of a guy as well as CRAZY CRAP ALL GUYS PULL. This is a partial list of potential encounters.
1. Abuse: Abuse of any type should never be allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, shoving, hitting, slapping, weapon-use, etc. It’s also important to mention emotional and psychological abuse. A potential mate should make you feel good about yourself! There’s enough stress in daily life to deal with. You don’t need some asshat with mommy issues to make it harder. I won’t stand for it and neither should you. Hopefully, by the time you get to the dating stage of your life, your mother and I will have instilled enough self esteem and confidence in you so that you know that kind of crap isn’t tolerated. A daddy can always hope…
2. Weirdness: Guys are just weird. We don’t go to bathrooms in pairs. We don’t spend hours getting ready. We don’t walk around asking “Do these jeans make me look fat?” But we’re weird all the same. I wish I had some great sage advice on the secret to men but I and three billion other guys are still working on figuring out the secret to women. All I can tell you is that you should be you. Never compromise. Don’t take any bullshit. If you’re lucky you’ll find some weird guy and you’ll be able to tolerate his quirks long after the quirks quit being cute and he’ll be able to do the same for you. This is rare, tough, and completely worth it. This is your mother and I, BTW. Our kung fu is strong and I hope you’ll find someone special with which to make your own.
3. The Rockthrower: You will meet this boy in the schoolyard during recess. He will throw a rock at you. It will hit you. It will hurt. You’ll ask him why he’s being an asshole (although I’d prefer if you don’t speak like your dad). He’ll say something uber-intelligent like “You smell!” And then he’ll run away. This means he has a crush on you. Although it seems like an odd way to show it, as stated above, boys are weird. Don’t throw rocks back at him. Corner him later and say something coy and witty like “You know, there are better ways to ask me out for ice cream. I think this bruise on my arm is worth a double scoop, don’t you?” And if his parents are at all worth their salt, he’ll say sorry and buy you ice cream. Invite him over and I’ll grill us all some burgers. And then I’ll show him my shotgun. Naw, just kidding! Real men don’t need guns to show that they’re men. Speaking of…
4 Real Men: There are so many images that come to mind when one thinks of a “real man.” Most of them are just macho posturing. The Marlboro Man. Frat boys. Jocks. Pauly Shore. Well, maybe not that last one but the rest apply. Guys come in all types, shapes, and sizes. Some may look or seem appealing but I hope you’ll look for the qualities found in real men: simple, honest, and brave. A real man will always protect the ones he loves by any means necessary. A real man makes that known to his loved ones without having to say it. A real man will put your needs in front of his. A real man knows his limitations. A real man says he’s sorry. And he means it.
I hope to be that archetype for you, Maddie. Four months until we meet. I’m counting the days until I can hold my daughter. Man, a daughter! I never tire of saying it. I can only hope you never tire of saying “daddy!”
I love you, Madeline Belle Thurston.