Sigh... here we go again.

Sorry for my lack of posting - its just been chaotic around here... between working like a crazy woman, juggling toddlers, calling lawyers, organizing paperwork for insurance, trying to keep up my house, etc... its just been crazy. So many things have happened this week... and yet, I feel like we're no closer to having this baby girl.. and the pressure is officially on. So here is the update:

Zaq's unemployment went through, YAY! One HUGE thing off the panic list... it buys us some time (literally) to adjust to life with baby #3 without having to totally panic about how we will pay out mortgage. So I am very thankful for that. He has already been looking for another job, but at least we're not in a total rush now.

As soon as he was notified of the unemployment, I rushed down to the office to put together my state insurance packet... this took me about 3 hours start to finish. Wow, between bank statements, check stubs, birth certificates, and much more... it was insane! So the next morning after having it all together... I went down to the office at 8:30 am... was person number 4 in line, and ready to meet with someone to get an answer. Only to find out that I was mis-informed and wouldn't not get an immediate answer. I had to wait 10-15 days... and there was no way to get a (you should get it) because we are right on the border of the maximums. When I explained to the woman, "but I don't have 15 days... my due date was October 21st, she could come any day..." She looked at me like the stupidest person on earth and said "you're telling me you're already past your due date and you're just now bringing in your packet?" I swear I wanted to punch her... as if I had planned for my family to be in this situation... as if I was just sitting around being lazy and thought, oh hey, maybe I should have insurance for this delivery. I didn't have a choice... I HAD to wait until we had an answer from unemployment to give accurate income information or they would have just sent it back... Ugh. How rude...

Which now brings be to stress point #3: Baby.
Now that I have no guarantee about insurance... and can't risk thousands of dollars in medical bills, we have to have this baby & be out of the hospital by the night of October 31st. Today is October 27th - do the math... My birth plan is pretty much out the window... thanks Best Buy. This situation has taken control of so many aspects of my life... its just unfair... lawsuit, charges, whatever - nothing changes this experience... nothing will bring back this child birth... I don't get a do-over. I got one shot... and now its rushed. Im supposed to be waiting for my baby girl to make her arrival... going through all the natural steps to get a natural child birth... I had my membranes stripped again today with minimal results. The best news was that Im about 4 cm dilated... sadly, its not where I need to be. I need to be in full on labor to avoid the Sunday induction that has now been scheduled... Apparently the lawyer thinks we can add this to our case. Because of the emotional aspect of it all... and because of the fact that my safer natural water birth will now be one full of hospital intervention, monitors and pitocin. Great - but it still doesn't get me what I want.

SO yeah, thats where we are right now... in a whirlwind of chaos... baby Rozzlyn will be here Monday at the latest... that's about the best news I have to share right now.. I want to thank everyone for their support while we go through all of this... There have been so many kind words, thoughts & prayers sent our way... it means a lot. I know everything happens for a reason... and Im trying to stay oh so positive... Im just kinda hitting a wall with the optimism... physically and emotionally exhausted and starting to break down a bit. *just keep swimming... just keep swimming*

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