Squarespace Blog
Wordless Wednesday: Silly faces
Some of my favorite shots from the other day of the boys making silly faces :)
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Mentoring Monday: Your Movie
Yet ANOTHER amazing post by Aymee... we absolutely love having her as a guest poster and continue to look forward to her insight. Love you Mee-mee.Your Movie As you may have heard, a friend of the RockerByeBaby family was tragically lost due to his own choice. This shook us all to the core, and left us asking, “Why?” Any one of us (even myself who only met Cole once) would have dropped what we were doing to listen or lend a helping hand in whatever way we could have. Cole was surrounded by people who cared for him deeply, and yet he felt he was utterly alone and had no other choice. That sad fact only makes us realize the scary part about life and letting others into our inner emotional circle: we can't control how our loved ones think or feel. We can tell them over and over again that we love them; that we're there for them at any moment of the day or night; that our world would be broken without them. But sometimes they just don't hear it. Or maybe they don't believe it? It's this confusion that we are left with after they are gone; this frustration of, “Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you reach out? Why didn't you believe me when I said I was there for you?”
And then we turn on ourselves. “What did I do wrong? What did I not say enough? Do enough? If I just would have…he would still be here.” But that's not true. From the caring, empathetic lot of us, no one is responsible for another taking their own life. It's not because of anything we did or didn't do. It's not even happenstance. It was their intentional choice. To the angry: their cowardly choice. To the hurt: their selfish choice. To the confused: a choice that will never make sense. He chose to forsake the love around him. My mother always said, “You can't change another. You can only hope to influence them.” That is our responsibility: to do our best to impact others' lives in a positive way, and hope our good-doings rub off on them. That they are then inspired to pay it forward to others, and do right by themselves. It is not fair for us to blame ourselves for others' poor and permanent choices because we, in the end, have no control over their choices. Also, blaming ourselves absolves them of responsibility for what they've done. The problem is when they see suicide as an option, and every new suicide promotes that idea. The problem is when they don't value themselves enough to say, “The pain isn't worth my life.”
In certain situations, there is one (or a few) people who clearly hold blame for making those lost feel so distraught that they felt they had no other choice. These people don't deserve pity. Instead, they deserve the burden of guilt and shame that they now carry. May it haunt them the rest of their lives. In situations like these, it is our (the caring, empathetic lot of us) responsibility to stand up for the bullied, abused, and neglected; to defend them against the hateful and the ignorant; to provide a loving escape from the hurt. Those who did not do so also bear partial blame. A man must take responsibility for his actions. So if a man hangs himself, he himself is to blame. But the man who stands by and makes no attempt to intervene is just as much to blame. Those among us who offered shelter to our loved ones are not among those men.
To those who bullied and abused the ones we mourn: your insecurities, ignorance, and intolerance have made you even more despicable than you already were. There is now and forever blood on your hands.
To those who are left in the wake of suicide: you did all you could. You were there for them. It is not your fault they chose not to reach out for help.
To those hurting we have yet to lose: giving up is not the answer. Although the pain is heavy, lift up your head. Open your eyes and see those around you who love you. Below are some links and a hotline for help. They exist solely to help you, but you have to click the link; you have to make the call. All is not lost; hope and the future lies in the arms of your friends and family. Living is the ultimate revenge.
1-800-273-talk (24/7 365 hotline)http://helpguide.org/mental/
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And then we turn on ourselves. “What did I do wrong? What did I not say enough? Do enough? If I just would have…he would still be here.” But that's not true. From the caring, empathetic lot of us, no one is responsible for another taking their own life. It's not because of anything we did or didn't do. It's not even happenstance. It was their intentional choice. To the angry: their cowardly choice. To the hurt: their selfish choice. To the confused: a choice that will never make sense. He chose to forsake the love around him. My mother always said, “You can't change another. You can only hope to influence them.” That is our responsibility: to do our best to impact others' lives in a positive way, and hope our good-doings rub off on them. That they are then inspired to pay it forward to others, and do right by themselves. It is not fair for us to blame ourselves for others' poor and permanent choices because we, in the end, have no control over their choices. Also, blaming ourselves absolves them of responsibility for what they've done. The problem is when they see suicide as an option, and every new suicide promotes that idea. The problem is when they don't value themselves enough to say, “The pain isn't worth my life.”
In certain situations, there is one (or a few) people who clearly hold blame for making those lost feel so distraught that they felt they had no other choice. These people don't deserve pity. Instead, they deserve the burden of guilt and shame that they now carry. May it haunt them the rest of their lives. In situations like these, it is our (the caring, empathetic lot of us) responsibility to stand up for the bullied, abused, and neglected; to defend them against the hateful and the ignorant; to provide a loving escape from the hurt. Those who did not do so also bear partial blame. A man must take responsibility for his actions. So if a man hangs himself, he himself is to blame. But the man who stands by and makes no attempt to intervene is just as much to blame. Those among us who offered shelter to our loved ones are not among those men.
To those who bullied and abused the ones we mourn: your insecurities, ignorance, and intolerance have made you even more despicable than you already were. There is now and forever blood on your hands.
To those who are left in the wake of suicide: you did all you could. You were there for them. It is not your fault they chose not to reach out for help.
To those hurting we have yet to lose: giving up is not the answer. Although the pain is heavy, lift up your head. Open your eyes and see those around you who love you. Below are some links and a hotline for help. They exist solely to help you, but you have to click the link; you have to make the call. All is not lost; hope and the future lies in the arms of your friends and family. Living is the ultimate revenge.
1-800-273-talk (24/7 365 hotline)http://helpguide.org/mental/
Thursdays Tunes - King Of Everything...
This made me laugh. Hubby came home the other day and said I heard this song today and it make me think of you...
aka. it made me think of how you think of me sometimes, LOL I love a man that can be honest without himself.
hes totally right. and its a totally adorable tune. Good job Sarah Bareilles
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aka. it made me think of how you think of me sometimes, LOL I love a man that can be honest without himself.
hes totally right. and its a totally adorable tune. Good job Sarah Bareilles
Favorites Friday: Getting Back on track...
So - there has been TONS of chaos going on... mostly bad... some good. Check out the facebook page if you havn't heard.... :( But today Im only gunna tell the good stuff... #1... were buying a house... and #2 we close at the end of the month... here is a "to buy" list for myself... to share with you all :) Let me know what you think!
Boys Bedroom: Some soft greens... grays... and a little dark blue and red... sounds crazy but it works :)
$19.99
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/90134528
Stealing THIS shelving idea from The Eli Monster (Eli has them in Blue :)
Only $6.99http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60099178
For the Monster Bathroom, that is ALMOST finished... this is the perfect final touch :)
$5.99
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10138163
PlayRoom:
This is a MUST!!
LOVEEEEE this coloring book wallpaper... should only need one roll for what I want to do So not too bad :) Oh, also need a couple cans of the chalkboard paint :)
http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=10571&f=4884
I also think it would be fun to have a few of these for the playroom... so they can hang their drawings and our workbook pages from Circle Time.
Just $8.99 on amazon... http://www.amazon.com/Little-Ones-Showcase-Show-01-SHOW-01/dp/B003JCSCEM
Damask Wallpaper for the "Hollywood" bathroom...
http://www.interiorplace.com/products/Black-and-White-Bold-Damask-Wallpaper.html
I really want something like this for the fireplace.... we will never use it... so it would be nice to hav something pretty to put inside... maybe not this exactly, but something chunky and metal and candles :) Saw them for HALF the price at Wal-Mart & Joann Fabrics
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/176-5667483-5540718?asin=B002W9B59M&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B002W9B59M
Love this soooooooooooooooo much for the guest bedroom... i just LOVE the purple super subtle damask... and of course the houndstooth.... wanna paint the walls in a pretty gray... itll be AWESOME!
My Office:
I had to leave my computer chair behind :( It was time for a new one anyways... I replaced one, and got a new desk for my computer and printer and shipping station... but I need another chair for my sewing desk. These have rave reviews :)
I need TWO more of these to make my space functional... can you believe it? I already have 3 shelving towers!! But, two more of these are a mUST! $69.99 each
Also for my office... I need a print of this photo from Kim to go with the rest of my StoopidGerl photography collection, i have 7 right now :)
I could go on and on... but i can't, cuz I need to get back to sewing!!! Talk to ya's later!!
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Boys Bedroom: Some soft greens... grays... and a little dark blue and red... sounds crazy but it works :)
$19.99http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/90134528
Stealing THIS shelving idea from The Eli Monster (Eli has them in Blue :)
Only $6.99http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60099178For the Monster Bathroom, that is ALMOST finished... this is the perfect final touch :)
$5.99
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10138163
PlayRoom:
This is a MUST!!
LOVEEEEE this coloring book wallpaper... should only need one roll for what I want to do So not too bad :) Oh, also need a couple cans of the chalkboard paint :)
http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=10571&f=4884
I also think it would be fun to have a few of these for the playroom... so they can hang their drawings and our workbook pages from Circle Time.Just $8.99 on amazon... http://www.amazon.com/Little-Ones-Showcase-Show-01-SHOW-01/dp/B003JCSCEM
Damask Wallpaper for the "Hollywood" bathroom...
http://www.interiorplace.com/products/Black-and-White-Bold-Damask-Wallpaper.html
I really want something like this for the fireplace.... we will never use it... so it would be nice to hav something pretty to put inside... maybe not this exactly, but something chunky and metal and candles :) Saw them for HALF the price at Wal-Mart & Joann Fabricshttp://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/176-5667483-5540718?asin=B002W9B59M&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B002W9B59M
Love this soooooooooooooooo much for the guest bedroom... i just LOVE the purple super subtle damask... and of course the houndstooth.... wanna paint the walls in a pretty gray... itll be AWESOME!
My Office:
I had to leave my computer chair behind :( It was time for a new one anyways... I replaced one, and got a new desk for my computer and printer and shipping station... but I need another chair for my sewing desk. These have rave reviews :)
I need TWO more of these to make my space functional... can you believe it? I already have 3 shelving towers!! But, two more of these are a mUST! $69.99 each
Also for my office... I need a print of this photo from Kim to go with the rest of my StoopidGerl photography collection, i have 7 right now :)
I could go on and on... but i can't, cuz I need to get back to sewing!!! Talk to ya's later!!
Mentorying Monday: Baby, Im blue...
Baby, I'm Blue Well, it happened. I have the baby blues. At least once a day, something makes me want to cry my eyes out: giving up my cat Daisy because I can't adequately care for her anymore with the new baby; saying bye to the boys, Amber, and Zaq when they were here to visit (before they decided to move back home); listening to “You Are the Best Thing” by Ray LaMontange and dancing with Maddie. Undoubtedly, my drop in hormones after delivery is playing a huge part in this. I read that while pregnant, a woman will produce more estrogen than she will her entire life otherwise. Once pregnancy is over, that estrogen level falls off the proverbial cliff. As a result, your hair falls out in chunks, your skin looks like crap, and you take an emotional roller-coaster ride. Check, check, and…check.
I gained a little weight from pregnancy, which was to be expected. I mean, we're talking like eight pounds (after baby, fluid, etc.), so I feel guilty even being self-conscious about it. But I still feel two feet tall inside when I'm standing in front of the mirror. Growing up, the only battle I didn't face was weight. I had glasses, braces, acne, bad style, and greasy hair. But I never had to deal with wanting to be thinner (guess the forces that be felt I had enough on my plate). So, now that the glasses make me look smart instead of dorky, the braces are gone, the acne is under control, and I use the right shampoo, I guess it's my turn to go through the body image battle of trying to lose this baby weight. For me, it's not the quantity of pounds, but the size around that I care about. I just want Adam to still be attracted to me, look good naked, and fit into my non-maternity clothes. One down, two to go.
On that note: yep, still wearing maternity pants. They were bearable while pregnant. I mean, what other option does a girl have when your belly turns the corner before you do? But now that mother and baby are two instead of one, I want that non-elastic waistline like I wanted that Slurpee during my second trimester. Currently, I am able to (literally) squeeze my butt into one pair of pre-pregnancy pants, but can't button or zip them up so I wear them with my belly band. I can't wear them for too long, however, because they cut into my lower stomach. Ouch! Funny what we women will do for fashion. *rolls eyes* Aunt Amber and I have a date to replace my wardrobe when she gets back home. I dream about this every free minute of every day, much like how a child looks forward to Christmas morning.
I'm also looking forward to our shopping trip because it will be the first bona fide mommy time I will have had baby-free since her birth. I'm on a limited maternity leave, so I want to spend as much time with her as possible. But the flip-side to that is I don't get out much. I'm lucky if I remember to brush my teeth. It leaves me yearning for social interaction outside of our tiny apartment, and dare I wish for some alcohol too? I'm jealous of my husband's “daddy time:” going for a beer after work with friends, working on his book, etc. (To be fair: Adam doesn't get nearly as much “daddy-time” as he needs, or would like to.) My “mommy-time” consists of memorizing the structure of a balance sheet, or as my teacher refers to it: “death by power point.” I love my baby, but I miss my friend now more than ever. Thank god she's moving home.
Post partum is like one minute you're enjoying the view from the summit you've climbed to and feeling proud of the accomplishment. Then the next minute you blink and find yourself at the bottom of the canyon between that mountain and the one next to it. Not for one minute do I regret getting pregnant, but in a way I am mourning the death of the old me--the individual me--all the while reveling in the joy that is being a parent. Everything I do and say now affects her: directly or indirectly. I am forever a different person.
Is being a different person the reason I've done things I said I wouldn't do as a parent? For example, using a pacifier before six weeks, or co-sleeping. Have I done them? Yes. How do I feel about that? Mixed. I constantly question whether I'm making the right decision. It doesn't feel wrong, but to not follow the baby book's instructions doesn't make me feel like I'm getting an A+ in parenting either. What I keep coming back to is what I've heard and read many places: you're going to get bombarded with advice on how to rear your child, and it can be confusing and overwhelming. (1) There is nothing wrong with trial and error, and (2) listen to your baby and go with your instincts. I have a feeling I'll be doing that even into her teen years.
