Squarespace Blog / "child birth"

The beautiful natural birth story... or something like that.

Looking back - Im pretty sure the only thing natural about my birthing experience was that I had no pain management... no drugs... no tub... I did however get some ice chips... that was nice... and then I threw it up. Beautiful right? *sigh* something like that... 
Before all this Best Buy nonsense happened, we had planned for a totally natural water birth. I had every intention of waiting for the spontaneous labor like the movies... where my water breaks in a crowd full of people... and we have to fight our way to a cab and rush to the hospital... just in time to hop in a warm birthing tub, relax, and bring my baby girl into this world. Ok - maybe thats a little dramatic, but you get the picture. I was in no hurry, and though I was READY for her to be here... I have had pitocin before and wanted nothing to do with that this time around. Well, plans all changed when Zaq was fired and out insurance ended on October 31st. We had to be in and out of the hospital by midnight that night. So to avoid thousands and thousands of dollars in medical bills, we induced on Sunday morning.

Bright and early... well - I think it was still dark... 6:30am I popped out of bed (couldn't sleep that night) to call into the hospital. My midwife was already there and we were clear to be there by 7:30. When we got there, I slipped into my Hot Mama Gown... climbed into the bed... and waited on word from my midwife. Around 10:15 she finally came in... She had been up for about 30 hours at this point she said, and had two other moms delivering the same time as me. Well, I knew pitocin takes a bit so I wasn't worried. She "checked" me... and I was at a 3 and high. Totally different from the 4 and low she had said 3 days before... *discouraged* I asked her if there was any chance we could break my water first before the pitocin because I have a history of going FAST after my water breaks... and she said no... so the nurse came in and started my IV and the dreaded pitocin. *shivers* It started out slow... they upp'd it every 30 minutes... pain was manageable... I did lots of walking, rocking, bouncing on the birthing ball... By 2:00 I was at the max amount of pitocin they can give (remember this for later)... and the nurse said if my contractions didn't start getting closer (4 minutes at that point) that we wouldn't have to have a plan B. I did NOT want a plan B...  At 2:08 my midwife came back in... asked me if I had been checked and I told her that my nurse was waiting for her to come in. She seemed confused... and went ahead and checked. Now keep in mind - when I switched from my regular OB clinic to the midwife I was assured a better experience... and told that a midwife is by my side at all times... keep that in the back of your head for later... At this point, she said I was at a 4 and low - and that if I wanted we could break my water now. I said absolutely. She was going to go take a nap and be refreshed and totally devoted to us... great. So at 2:19pm she broke my water. IMMEDIATELY my contractions went from about an intensity of 34-40 (on those stupid fetal monitors) Up to 80... and they were coming about 2 minutes apart. Naturally - the pain kicked in SO FAST AND HARD that I got to throw up my snack of chips the second some ice chips hit my mouth. Not my finest moment, as Zaq chased after me with my IV so I didn't rip it out. There I was hunched over the bathroom sink as the contractions hit me one after another. Zaq was pushing into my lower back while my nurse tried to help me focus on my breathing. Both we're nice. But lets be real... it came on so fast that I had no prep time... no get focused time... The only thing I could think was holy shit this hurts... and Jen says keep your mouth open... so I did.

After about 15 minutes of this, almost dropping to my knees with every contraction and tears rolling down my cheeks - I looked at Zaq and said there is no way I can do this for HOURS! Its too much... I can't do it... well  - super hubby that he is talked me off the ledge every time I was ready to cave to ANYTHING they would have given me to help... He assured me I could do it... He knew I could do it more that I did... so I kept going... I asked the nurse if I could get into the tub now... and she said wait 15 minutes and we will check you again and see where we are at... in the mean time... to get onto the bed on all fours and rock into a pillow. This helped... though I caught myself looking over at my monitors during an intense contraction... and through tear filled eyes - saw 109 on the scale...

by the time it had gotten down to 50 (where they were pretty intense earlier in the day) it was almost like they weren't even there in comparison. Zaq continued pushing into my back while I contracted... butt in the air, probably not my finest moment... but whatever, it helped. He even started counting down the monitor so I could focus on it going away. And the pillow gave me a nice muffling tool to moan into... all of a sudden... I was sure I could feel her head coming. Assuming it wasn't possible, they had me flip over and check... I was 7 CM... so in under 15 minutes, I had gone from 4 CM to 7CM... They put me back on my knees while she prepped for labor and called my midwife... *who had been gone the whole time* Id say it was about 5-10 minutes, and much more supportive super husband later...  I felt my body taking over... my contractions were coming in waves of 1 minute apart... meaning by the time it was ending, I literally got to take one breath and it started again. I could feel her coming... I had done this before, I knew what was happening and demanded they check me again. When she did, she said wow, you're 10 and she's right there. I wined "but Im supposed to be doing this in the tub" and my sweet nurse said "honey, you're going to do this right here in just a couple pushes." And she was right... they didn't even have time to pull the end of the bed off... they slipped a paper pad underneath me and a couple towels. Pushed my feet up on their hips... and in about 3 or 4 contractions... she was out.
... ... ... 3:08pm ... ... ... and that was it... So those of you tuning in hoping to hear about the beautiful water birth... peaceful... empowering... etc... you're at the wrong blog. It was the opposite of everything I wanted.. everything we "planned" for... but I guess thats what I get. We Zrust's aren't very good at planning... we just roll with it.  I ended up with a drug induced labor... intensified 10 fold with pitocin. Going through the most excruciating pain of my entire life... a labor that made Zavery's seem like an uncomfortable doctors visit in comparison... and Izzaq's seem more like a movie maraton at a hotel with my hubby rather than a birth. And I gave birth in the worst position... for pain... and for gravity to help do its job, on my back with my feet up in the air... 3:10pm... midwife walked in... "Wow, what did I miss?" *crickets* "Everything"... I said.She pushed on my tummy... delivered the placenta... checked for tears, and headed home for the night. 
Am I complaining? eh, I don't know. It was chaos... it was more that I ever imagined... Max dose of Pitocin? Likely reason... no midwife help with pain? Breathing? Etc? Maybe... but hubby did the best he could. But for now - my baby is here... she is healthy. She is BEAUTIFUL... so for now... right now - that all I care about. And of course I can wear my "natural birth badge" with pride... haha. And hope for all the other natural births out there, that their experience is much more calm and peaceful than mine ;) But, sk me again when we get a giant bill from the Midwives office... for a delivery that she didn't deliver... then there may be a few phonecalls to be had. 
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Mentoring Monday: Welcome to the Family

Welcome to the Family              Five days after your due date, I had one last checkup appointment with my Obstetrician. We were preparing to induce labor that following Sunday or Monday. At the time of the visit, I hadn’t dilated or effaced any since two weeks before. I left the doctors office with a sense of the end in sight, but still disappointed. This wasn’t how I wanted labor to be. I wanted you to come on your own; I wanted contractions to start naturally; to share the “Is this it?” moment of excitement and panic with your father, timing contractions, calling the doctor and hospital, etc. I wanted the drama that you see in the movies. However, it was beginning to look as though we were to have a lab labor instead: start it all through dripping chemicals into my arm via plastic tubing. I was torn. I was disappointed at the induction prospect, but had an overriding sense of satisfaction knowing one way or another I was going to meet you soon. In one last effort to kick start labor the old fashioned way, your father and I walked laps around the mall. I had spicy Chipotle for lunch, and we had fantastically greasy Five Guys burgers for dinner (not the ideal last meal before labor, but I was calling labor’s bluff). After dinner and Mommy-Daddy time, I went to sleep for the night. Around 11:45 pm, I awoke in pain. My middle felt like it was in a vice. It wasn’t unbearable, but rather just uncomfortable enough to wake me from a deep sleep. I got up, and came out into the living room where Dad was, still up on the computer. “You okay?” he asked.              “I’m in pain,” I said holding my lower abdomen.              “Like…labor pain?” We’d had a few false alarms, and he didn’t want to (again) get worked up over nothing.              “I don’t know.” I couldn’t help but giddily smile through the discomfort. “We should see if we can time them.” And so we did. I was having contractions four and five minutes apart. Eee! The magic number! The hospital had us wait another hour before getting on the road to make sure it wasn’t false labor (it wasn’t). So at 1 am, Dad drove to the hospital, me in the backseat moaning through the contractions and giggling in between. The whole way there, the midnight sky lit up with a beautiful electrical storm stretching from one end of the horizon to the next. It then dawned on us: if this was it, you’d be a Friday the 13th baby (you were).              We arrived at the hospital. Upon entering the Emergency entrance, I commandeered a wheelchair, and was escorted up to the maternity floor. They checked my vitals: still not dilated or effaced. They escorted me to our room where I began to spend most of my time in the huge maternity tub, soaking in the warm water to ease the pain of contractions. At first, the nurse turned on a soothing CD of Native American flute songs. That quickly morphed into my custom playlist appropriately titled, “Labor? What Labor?” that included such hip-moving, feel-good music as The Temptations, The Jackson 5, and Marvin Gaye.              The contractions got stronger as the hours wore on. I was dilating about a centimeter an hour, and completely effaced after about three. After six and a half hours, I asked for the epidural. The pain was excruciating, yes. But what made up my mind about getting the epidural, was knowing I didn’t have the energy to muster through the increasing contractions for another few hours and push the baby through when it came time.              The Anesthesiologist came in and prepped for the epidural. I don’t remember much from that time because I was in so much pain during contractions, and exhausted in between them. I even dozed off a couple times in those few minute sanctuaries. He rapidly explained what he had to do, had me sign the necessary paperwork, and off we went. After the epidural, labor slowed significantly. But thankfully it allowed me to get some rest. After much needed sleep, they started Pitocin and a few hours later I was pushing. When you came out, your father exclaimed, “Babe, there she is!” Then the doctor laid you on my stomach, and I held you while Daddy cut your umbilical cord. You came out blinking your eyes and wobbling your head around; so strong and healthy. You scored high on your Apgar test (8 and 9), and latched on like a breastfeeding proThat’s my girl.               Everyone was so impressed with you from the moment you were born. Every nurse wooed over you every chance they got; you were so beautiful from the startI swear they were looking for reasons to come into our room to see you. Dad even got stopped in the hall at the hospital about how precious you were (you still are). You look just like your Dad, which still throws him for a loop. “She’s got my nose!” he said while holding you for the first time. You have just about everything from your old man: nose, mouth, chin, hands. You have my ears and dimples (one side more prominent than the other), and both of our long lashes. Your eyes are blue right now, so I’m interested to see if they stay blue or change. Your hair was dark brown when you were born, but every day it gets a bit lighter, and more and more red. Personality-wise, you’re an easy baby like your Dad was, but a total cuddle-bug like your Mom.              So that’s how you came to be. We love you so much, and are happy you’re finally here darling. Welcome to the family.

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