Welcome back, Aymee - to yet another Mentoring Monday post... we love having you :)
As the Kids say: “Epic Fail.”Dear Maddie,
Let's just start with--it's okay to make a mistake. It's okay to really mess up. And it's okay to fail miserably. The important thing is that you get back up, shake it off, and try again a little wiser. No one likes to lose, and it takes courage to admit they did. It's okay to regret something you've done. As much as feeling regret sucks, it motivates us to keep from making the same mistakes over and over again. It's an important process in growing up and, well…surviving. And isn't that what growing up is: surviving?
I failed miserably last week, quite literally. For the first time in my 26 years, I failed a class. For a life-long hard working student whose never had a GPA below 3.6, this was like getting sucker punched in my nerdy, squishy, post-partum stomach. It would have been expected if I hadn't tried; then I would have deserved it. But all semester-long, I constantly struggled with the class. I worked and worked in hopes of at least passing. But that wasn't in the cards. Instead, I became part of the lower fifty percent of students who take this class: those that fail (that's right, this class has a fifty percent fail-rate).
The weight of disappointment, frustration, sadness, and the desire to lose myself in an alcoholic stupor, all bare down on my back like a boulder. I am now fearful of the coming semester. Not to mention: I have no motivation to work like have in the past, which is a problem because now more than ever do I need to pull up my bootstraps and get to work.
Sure, feeling the shame and guilt from failure suck. Knowing you let someone down because you didn't succeed sucks. The fact that your best wasn't good enough f&*%ing sucks. But that's not the worst of it; do you know what the hardest part of failing is? Not becoming a whiny, sore loser.
Everyone is entitled one pity party--maybe a few more depending on the circumstances. But eventually, you have to dry your tears, stand up and try again. Try again, no matter how much you just want to stay buried under the covers and hide from the sun. You have to do this terribly difficult task because if you don't, nothing will ever get better.
So I will press on next semester, and the one after that, and so on--because I have to set an example for you; because I refuse to just lie down and quit; because it's the only way I'll get to where I'm going.